The blank pages of WordPress have been staring back at me for the past few weeks. Taunting me, eagerly waiting to be filled with words, either meaningful, hysterical or anything in between. But no words came out and the pages remained as pearly white as I wish my teeth were. There’s been a lot on my mind lately but unfortunately none of these thoughts was enough to dedicate an entire post to. Although I’m commonly known to be all over the place, hence I probably could get away with stuffing three different topics in to one post, it just didn’t feel right to try. Regardless of each of these thoughts being important and plenty of food for thought to share, they all felt a bit too fragile to share and expose to the outside world. Somehow, in the past few weeks, I’ve become protective.
The way we respond to certain situations is a reflection of our current state of emotions and our relationship with ourselves. When you’re having a fun and loving relationship with yourself, it’s easier to be open for fun and loving relationships with others. When your self-esteem is low and you’re insecure and not capable of loving yourself, this will show in the way you approach others. A relationship shouldn’t be demanding. You shouldn’t seek confirmation from others to base your self-worth on. Your self-worth should be defined by … (#surprise) … you. When you’re unable to see yourself in such a way that it makes you happy to be your own best friend, you won’t be able to show others your true self either. Who are you? What defines you? How do you see yourself?For example, I’ve embraced the fact that I gained some weight. Being happily in love has that effect on me. I’ve accepted that and although I’m yet to start loving it, the fact that I’m no longer fighting it, means I’ve conquered the worst. It’s tempting to constantly seek external approval by asking others whether I look alright, or whether my bum looks big in these jeans or whether they can see the x-amount of kilo’s the scale claims I’ve gained. Instead, I’m trying to ask myself these questions because if I would base my self-image on the answers of others, it would alter the perception of me. You can ask twenty people the same question and the outcome would never suffice, simply because it’s a matter of taste (or clear wisdom because some people know you well enough to give the answer you want to hear).
This basically relates to my last post and the fact that after weeks of silence this is what came out when I finally found words to fill the empty page with, indicates it’s still important to me. It’s important to me to help others fight the pressure of looking a certain way, reaching a certain weight on the scale, fitting in a certain size or whatever you feel like you have to obey to in order to be approved. You shouldn’t empower anyone to put a label on you of what they think you are or ought to be. The only opinion that matters is your own (and your doctor’s, in case it’s affecting your health). Being slightly insecure is normal, as is wanting to be liked, but it’s important to differentiate wanting to be liked and needing to be liked. Nobody needs you to be anything other than your true self. They’ll want to be with you because of who you are, not of who you can be when they need you to. In the end: the only person you can be is the best version of yourself.