It’s funny how a single, simple challenge managed to completely turn my life around. Whilst looking through the tabs of my site I stumbled on my Pre-30 To Tick-Off List (Pre-30 TTOL) and was reminded that I’d challenged myself to go on a blind date. I think it goes without saying that my site has been heavily neglected the past 3 months, mainly due to the fact that I had other priorities to obey to such as growing a tiny human being inside of me… Which brings me to the reason of this intro: this baby wouldn’t have ever been thought of if I hadn’t agreed to go on a blind date last year!
At some point in time you’ll be given no other option then to stop giving a damn about what anyone else may think. When a life-changing event occurs you cannot let the pressure or fear of how others will respond to it, overrule your emotions and/or happiness. This has been a lesson I’ve recently experienced firsthand and although I initially tried to anticipate their response, I soon realized it was draining me emotionally so I decided to let it go. I let go of the fear of being judged by those who are close to me, those who are considered to be friends. I decided to allow my feelings of happiness to overrule any potential negative reaction and accept that all that mattered was how my boyfriend and I felt about it. Not the least because it’s mostly our lives that are about to change drastically.
The blank pages of WordPress have been staring back at me for the past few weeks. Taunting me, eagerly waiting to be filled with words, either meaningful, hysterical or anything in between. But no words came out and the pages remained as pearly white as I wish my teeth were. There’s been a lot on my mind lately but unfortunately none of these thoughts was enough to dedicate an entire post to. Although I’m commonly known to be all over the place, hence I probably could get away with stuffing three different topics in to one post, it just didn’t feel right to try. Regardless of each of these thoughts being important and plenty of food for thought to share, they all felt a bit too fragile to share and expose to the outside world. Somehow, in the past few weeks, I’ve become protective.
A few weeks ago I uploaded a picture on Instagram with the accompanying text that I’d spent an inspiring week with my favourite trucker and learned a lot about him as well as about myself. I was intrigued by the misperceptions I seemed to have about myself. Although I won’t blindly go with his opinion, it’s been an eye-opener to be made aware of the way he sees me and the way I see myself. He’s quite smitten with me and obviously thinks I’m the prettiest woman he knows (which is the only right thing for him to say otherwise things could get ugly) and I keep telling him that not everybody shares his point of view. Regardless, the difference in opinion has got me thinking…
Sometimes it feels like I’m going around in circles: addressing the same topic several times but in a slightly different context. I hope you’re not getting bored with me yet because I still have loads of things I want to write about, but the on-going things on my mind are often the same: personal development, positivity, raising awareness of our presence within society and general acceptance. It’s not an ordinary piece of cake but you know (if you’re a frequent visitor): I’m always up for a challenge!
So, the fact that I haven’t published anything for two weeks has absolutely nothing to do with the title of today’s post. To be honest, the past couple of weeks have been the contrary, meaning the days (and especially the weekends) have been quite overwhelmingly positive. But just because I’ve been relatively happy (though almost to the extent that it’s been a bit out of proportion compared to the last 12 years of my life…) doesn’t mean it’s a legit excuse to neglect my website. It just felt odd, searching for (meaningful, inspiring, thoughtful) things to write about while my mind was fully occupied by something I wanted to keep to myself. Although it still doesn’t feel like it’s the right time to be sharing any details, I did feel the need to write again and was inspired by one of the many deep conversations I’ve had this week.
Recently I’ve experienced the power of admitting to change, even when these changes are somewhat challenging and perhaps a bit scary. By acknowledging my fear(s) I took control over the situation and was able to move forward because my anxiety was no longer a feeling or just a thought, it was an actual thing to be considered and acted upon. Dwelling on making decisions is an art I’ve mastered in the past 12 years, out of fear of making the wrong decision(s) and ending up regretting them or upsetting someone. In the meantime, one (rather important) thing I failed to understand was that dwelling and postponing actually added to the level of stress and anxiety I was experiencing. I did mention I tend to prefer learning things the hard way, didn’t I …?
Love grows. Love lingers. Love exceeds your wildest dreams and leaves you breathless. Love gives happiness. For some, love equals happiness. Love challenges you to try harder. Love brings out the best in people. Love can’t be forced. Love can’t survive by itself. Love hurts. Love can cause so much pain it leaves you breathless. The loss of love removes all happiness. Love forces you to try harder. Love brings out the worst in people. Love can kill…
Being genuinely happy is not something I’ve allowed myself to do in the last couple of years. Happiness scared me a bit, in more than one way. It’s as if I was climbing a steep mountain and enjoying the trip but when the top appeared in sight it was either still a freakin’ lifelong climb or something happened and I tumbled down, aaaaaall the way back to rock bottom (which is where I usually started from). Hypothetically speaking I’ve climbed thus many hills in the past and convinced myself it was a pleasant journey, all the while I never really made it to the top but instead had to scramble back on to my feet when reality hit me and pushed me back to where I came from. At some point I just couldn’t be bothered anymore. No mountain, no promising sights, no happiness, could tempt me to pack up my climbing gear and set off on another journey.
No doubt ‘losing weight‘ is on top of many New Year’s resolutions for 2016. Understandably, because fitting in to a certain dress size is one of the biggest social pressures nowadays. Who cares about feeling comfortable in your own skin, right? It’s all about being able to zip up a size 6 before you can allow yourself to feel pretty. Acknowledging your own beauty is probably not a priority; instead it’s about being socially accepted and liked. But does being accepted and liked depend on the size of your beautiful bum? Although I seriously hope it doesn’t, I still want to give you a few tips on how to quickly lose unwanted weight. Let’s go!