At some point in time you’ll be given no other option then to stop giving a damn about what anyone else may think. When a life-changing event occurs you cannot let the pressure or fear of how others will respond to it, overrule your emotions and/or happiness. This has been a lesson I’ve recently experienced firsthand and although I initially tried to anticipate their response, I soon realized it was draining me emotionally so I decided to let it go. I let go of the fear of being judged by those who are close to me, those who are considered to be friends. I decided to allow my feelings of happiness to overrule any potential negative reaction and accept that all that mattered was how my boyfriend and I felt about it. Not the least because it’s mostly our lives that are about to change drastically.
During last years’ December holidays we were still getting to know each other. While our conversations were platonic and gave no indication that we would be making any future plans, he still promised me a Christmas tree for this year. A big one that I’d decorate with colourful lights and would have loads of beautifully wrapped presents underneath it (I made up the latter – haha). I liked the gesture of his promise, regardless whether he’d pull through with it, because it meant he was looking beyond the present time. And now, as we’ve arrived in June and I’m starting to get my mid-year Christmas jitters, we’ve started a new chapter. One that will last a lifetime. One of which its main character is due to arrive on Christmas day…For a week or so all we could think of were the comments others would throw at us when we’d tell them the big news. Yes, we’ve only known each other for a couple of months. Yes, it’s a life changer. Yes, we know what we’re getting ourselves in to because it was a well-thought-through decision to go for it. We’ve both paid attention in biology classes so we know how it works… And then we came to the conclusion that we had no idea how others would respond nor could we control it and we were wasting energy on wrongful expectations. In the end we were the ones being taught a valueable lesson: don’t think on their behalf! So you see, at any age there’s still a lot to learn. But right now our main priority is for our most precious Christmas present to grow a bit more and develop in to a healthy human being, whose arrival we’ll eagerly await.
(It is slowly becoming more visible: 6 weeks – 10 weeks and 12 weeks)